Tea Bitches- Pat III

I wrote about the Tea Bitches back in Feb'12 and never finished the story. So here is the third of four parts:

Tea Bitches: PART III

 

It is several days later and I am now comfortable walking about Beijing without getting lost.  Things are looking familiar to me.  I am beginning to recognize some of the neighbors.   I am now returning to my hotel at dusk.  It is really cold and windy.  Everyone is bundled up.  I notice a woman waving to me.  She is wearing a big hat and scarf so I don’t recognize her.  But I wave back.

 

As I get closer I hear, “Hello, remember me.  I Jenny”, she says so cheerfully, so full of goodwill.

 

“Jenny, Jenny”, I think, “who is jenny”.  Then I get a good look at her.  She is the tea bitch.  She has tracked me down and now she is standing right in front of me, happy as can be to see me.  Acting as if long lost friends have reunited.

 

Anger rages through me and I have an urge to punch her.  But I don’t.  I am too stunned to see her and I am shocked by her audacity to speak to me with such a pleasant tone.

 

“Hello. How you.  Hey, we no get our money back at tea house”.  She says and then points to her friend, Tan, who sheepishly nods in agreement.

 

 “You help us?” she asks with a tone of sincerity, as if now we were comrades against the immortality of the waitresses at the tea house.

 

“What”, I shout in complete astonishment.

 

“Yea, they say you take all the money.  They say we get the money from you. We give lot of money but they not give it back. Can we have money”?

 

My anger starts on my toes and run through every pore in my body.  I am trembling in so anger that I think I am going to throw up. “Are you fucking kidding me?  Get the fuck away from me you thieves.  Fuck you.” I am shouting as loud as I can and the two of them jump back in fear.  They huddle together.

 

“We need our money.  We have no money”, she pleads.

 

“Get the fuck away from me.  Who the hell do you think you are? Get the fuck away from me”.

 

People are passing us and watching.  No one stops or tries to establish eye contact. But everyone now walks backwards to watch our interactions.

 

I take a few steps towards the two of them who have now become one big lump of huddled, trembling cowards.  I point at them, “Get the fuck away from me before I call the police. Get away, you thieves.”

 

They take off, not quite running but they are scurrying.  As they make their way down the alleyway, I am shouting, “Watch your purses, everyone, these two women are thieves.  They are thieves.  They will steal from you.”

 

Now, everyone in the alleyway has stopped to watch the show. As my volume got louder, their pace got quicker.  Soon they were out of my sight.

 

Back in my hotel, I go to the bar and have a beer in celebration of yet another victory against crime and injustice.  But as I am taking my last sip, a thought crosses my mind.  “What if they come back here with friends and attack me.  Should I change my hotel?”  I only had one more day in Beijing.  I have tentative plans to go to an evening concert.  I decide to lay low for the evening and stay in my hotel. I leave town the next day, thankful to put this incident behind me.

 

 

The Men's Academy for the Future of Women in China

Last year, some of the young men on campus approached Jerrie (the director of the World Academy for the Future of Women) and asked her to start a Men's Academy.  Jerrie thought they wanted to start the group to promote men.  But they told her that they were interested in promoting the needs of women in China.  One young man told the story about his sister.  She is smarter than he is. However, he was the one sent to school.  She had to stay home after middle school and work on the darm. 
Another student told the story of his aunt who was raped and then shunned by her village.  She had no options available to her once she became damaged goods.  So Jerrie started teh Men's Academy last year with 12 male students.  This year, enrollment is up to 40 students.  They meet once a week and think up ways to promote opportunities for women in China.

Adoption in China- One Child Policy 20 years later

Adoption in China- One Child Policy 20 years later

 

Selia is going to get to know another young Chinese woman who was adopted.  As I mentioned in a previous blog, one of the young women highlighted in the movie, Somewhere Between, had agreed to connect with Selia.  Both women were put up for adoption due to the one child policy.  Ann was adopted by white Americans and grew up in PA.  Selia was adopted by older Chinese parents and has not yet been told by her parents that she was in fact adopted.  As her uncle once told her, he would not talk to her about it because, “it is not the Chinese way.”

 

 

Email from Ann to me:

 

Mrs. Kelly,

I'm emailing you in regards to the girl from China that you spoke with me about. I'm sorry for sending this so late, it's been a busy week home for me, but I'd love to get a chance to meet this girl and try helping her with anything she needs.

If you're still interested, please let me know.

 

Thanks and hope you have a happy Thanksgiving,

Ann Boccuti

 

My response back to Ann:

Great. I just wrote to Selia to see if she is interested in making this connection. I know she is going to her village this weekend so it may be a few days before I hear from her. In the interim please feel free to go on my LinkedIn profile and look up Selia Wang.

Bridget Kelly

Long Nv

 

 

My email to Selia:

I met a young Chinese woman who was adopted by white Americans when she was an infant and she grew up in the USA. She was just featured in a documentary film called Somewhere Between. I asked her if she would be willing to connect with you and she is interested. Do you have any interest?

Selia’s email response to me:

Sounds good, I think it is a neat idea.

My email to Ann:

Ann- I just heard from Selia and she is interested in connecting with you
so the two of you can contact each other.

 

MY THOUGHTS ON THE WHOLE THING:  I don’t know who is more excited about this idea (Selia or me).  But this will be the first time Selia has met another Chinese person who was adopted.  This practice is very rare in China and very secreted. Selia only talks to the Americans about her adoption and she continues to be amazed that we speak openly and proudly about adoption in our country.  The shame of being given up and abandoned by your parents permeates all of these adoptions.

Somewhere Between- a movie recommendation

I just saw the movie Somewhere Between, a documentary about five young Chinese women who were adopted by white parents and raised in the USA.  These adoptions happened right after the mandates of the One Child Policy. The women were follwed for three years and talked about thier world and their questions about their origins and culture.  As one of the girl's said, "I feel like a banana, white on the inside and yellow on the outside."


somewherebetweenmovie.com

One of the women attended the film and spoke with the audience afterwards.  I told her about Selia who is adopted and she thought it must be even more difficult for Selia because she heard that the Chinese never talk about adoptions.  I told her that was Selia's experieince as her parents have never mentioned it to her.  This woman hopes to get in touch with Selia.

Selia's view on the presidential debates

Because they do not have access to multiple news sites, my students do not understand  or know of the rubs/conflicts betwen our two nations.  They do not understand why or what are any of the issues.  Selia watched the debate with an American who is a democrat.  I asked her to respond to Obama's statement that Ronmey doesn't know how to be tough on China.

Selia wrote: "To me, it means I hope Obama would be reelected. It is not wise to be tough on China"


FYI- the night of the election, Selia emailed me several times through hte night, anxious to hear the results of the election.

Gloria's extra-currucular projects

I asked Gloria about her views on the debate but, consisietnt with her good academic behavior, if she doesn't have information, she doesn't offer opinions for facts.  She is not policitical but she is kind hearted and willing and ready to make the world a better place. Here are a few of her activites she has started.

 

 

 

 

Yeah, Bridget! We've talked about that the other day! I will probably write an article about it when I get more information.

Have you heard about our crying time when Robert began to talk about you inspiring him to come to China? That was such an exhausting cry. We missed you so much so we cried so hard. And then we felt so tired but we had to carry on. How about your trip in Canada? Whether is changing in China. It becomes dry and cold. If you could, please drink more warm water. hot water better~

This year, we got lots of stuff going on! very exciting and demanding. I'd like to talk you about the WAFW Creative Thinkers Society! Oh! You know what? When I tried to trace it down, I found out the idea started when you were here. That night you took us to the bar and I shared that idea with Peter. I can't remember whether I've talked with you. Those days, I was probably soaked in the sad mood for your leaving.
OK, back to the track. The Creative Thinkers Society grows from a English Debate Club into a more practical problem-solving society, which aims at providing comfortable environment for people to think critically and creatively and to gain problem-solving skills. We start from a small team in Sias International University and focus on thinking over problems and possible solutions creatively to develop ourselves as leaders of social action groups. In the second phase, we will put the potential solutions into reality and work toward positive outcomes on major social initiatives in our local community.

I was wondering whether you might consider about being an team sponsor? You might think about guiding us in building a slide team and provide us with inspiring books and stories, enlightening perspectives, exercises of thinking creatively.

Meanwhile, I'm continuously doing the Sunshine Angels project. It's really cool! We have set up a promissing plan for the future of the special kids! We know it will take a long time, but my new teammembers are as excited as me. I'm so glad to tell you new members this year are amazing! Here is a brief description of the Sunshine Angels!

The Sunshine Angels aims at helping physically and mentally challenged kids to have faith in themselves and integrating them into the society. We begin with a school named the Special Education School in local area, where students are mainly from 8 to 15 years old. 12 of them are hearing-impaired, visual-impaired; around 60 are mentally challenged. We’ve done weekly visits to the School and built up a good relationship with the kids; now we’re working on providing them with more educational activities. As well, we make a commercial plan on their outcomes so that they can fully express their value and embrace the society.
More ideas are highly appreciated!

Plus, midterm exams are coming! We're fighting for that. I don't want to let my professors down. It becomes a long email~~ I have to go to bed.

Love you! Miss you!

Gloria

Susanna's lunch project

Last spring, Susanna and other students collected money to start a healthy lunch program for a small, rural elementary school.  They raised 1800 Yuan which is about $300 and that bought 600 meals for students.  The program has been so successful that they are going to continue to collect funds and provide lunches for these children.

 

Below is a correspondence I just received from her.

 

 

 

10/7/2012

My dear friend,

I am Susanna, an advanced member of the World Academy for the Future of Women.
I would like to give you an update on the efforts of the Free Lunch for Children team, bringing you up to speed on what we've been able to accomplish.

We received 1800 yuan by this August and donated all the money to the NGO "Free Lunch for Children". It means we offered 600 meals to the poor children who have no lunch in Henan province. In September, Dr. Shawn Chen graciously matched the amounts of funds that we'd raised so far, meaning that a lot more children will enjoy a free lunch.

We launched this project last semester in April to support the Millennium Development Goal, ending poverty and hunger, in order to feed the poor children who have no lunch in Henan province. We planned to raise money at the Honoring Women Awards Show during the Women Symposium in May originally. The minimum donation we would ask was 3.00 yuan (47 cents) per person and try to raise a total of 7000 yuan. It means we could offer the whole year's lunches for 35 students.

However, we got sad news on the day, 4 hours before the Awards Show. The board office advised us that we would not be able to solicit donations, and so we've had to be creative in our fundraising efforts. I would like to show you the process and how we collected money.

Breakout forum --- 227.2 yuan
The WAFW party --- 524 yuan
Donation across the Pacific Ocean --- 13.6 yuan
Donation from the Internet --- 52 yuan
Friends --- a lot
…………
…………
Total 1800 yuan

Already, we have 1938 yuan in donations for the second round, thanks to Dr. Chen's generous match. That means with just an additional 162 yuan ($25.62) in donations, we will be able to provide 700 further meals, or if we raise another 1062 yuan ($167.93), we'll be able to provide a further 1000 meals.

I would like to call upon everyone, including you, who has heard of my project to help the poor children who have no lunch, no matter you want to donate or offer other kind of help.

Enclosed is a copy of the receipt from China Social Welfare Foundation which shows the amount my team contributed. With your donation, more children will have lunches.

I look forward to receiving your responses and thank you for your generosity. Thank you on behalf of my team members and the poor children in Henan.

Sincerely,
Susanna Ma
Team captain, Free Lunch for Children
Member, Advanced Academy for the Future of Women
Team members: Valerie Wang, Molly Meng, Claudia Xu, Talia Lee, Kerry Kong, Miry Xu, Wency Zhang, Annalee, Lisa Mao.

P.S. Please feel free to forward this update to anyone who may be interested in helping us.

 

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