Man confirms Selia's views on young marriage.MOV

The Men's Academy for the Future of Women in China

Last year, some of the young men on campus approached Jerrie (the director of the World Academy for the Future of Women) and asked her to start a Men's Academy.  Jerrie thought they wanted to start the group to promote men.  But they told her that they were interested in promoting the needs of women in China.  One young man told the story about his sister.  She is smarter than he is. However, he was the one sent to school.  She had to stay home after middle school and work on the darm. 
Another student told the story of his aunt who was raped and then shunned by her village.  She had no options available to her once she became damaged goods.  So Jerrie started teh Men's Academy last year with 12 male students.  This year, enrollment is up to 40 students.  They meet once a week and think up ways to promote opportunities for women in China.

Adoption in China- One Child Policy 20 years later

Adoption in China- One Child Policy 20 years later

 

Selia is going to get to know another young Chinese woman who was adopted.  As I mentioned in a previous blog, one of the young women highlighted in the movie, Somewhere Between, had agreed to connect with Selia.  Both women were put up for adoption due to the one child policy.  Ann was adopted by white Americans and grew up in PA.  Selia was adopted by older Chinese parents and has not yet been told by her parents that she was in fact adopted.  As her uncle once told her, he would not talk to her about it because, “it is not the Chinese way.”

 

 

Email from Ann to me:

 

Mrs. Kelly,

I'm emailing you in regards to the girl from China that you spoke with me about. I'm sorry for sending this so late, it's been a busy week home for me, but I'd love to get a chance to meet this girl and try helping her with anything she needs.

If you're still interested, please let me know.

 

Thanks and hope you have a happy Thanksgiving,

Ann Boccuti

 

My response back to Ann:

Great. I just wrote to Selia to see if she is interested in making this connection. I know she is going to her village this weekend so it may be a few days before I hear from her. In the interim please feel free to go on my LinkedIn profile and look up Selia Wang.

Bridget Kelly

Long Nv

 

 

My email to Selia:

I met a young Chinese woman who was adopted by white Americans when she was an infant and she grew up in the USA. She was just featured in a documentary film called Somewhere Between. I asked her if she would be willing to connect with you and she is interested. Do you have any interest?

Selia’s email response to me:

Sounds good, I think it is a neat idea.

My email to Ann:

Ann- I just heard from Selia and she is interested in connecting with you
so the two of you can contact each other.

 

MY THOUGHTS ON THE WHOLE THING:  I don’t know who is more excited about this idea (Selia or me).  But this will be the first time Selia has met another Chinese person who was adopted.  This practice is very rare in China and very secreted. Selia only talks to the Americans about her adoption and she continues to be amazed that we speak openly and proudly about adoption in our country.  The shame of being given up and abandoned by your parents permeates all of these adoptions.

Follow Up to Selia's presentation to a rural village

Selia got back to China late Saturday night.  She started class early Monday morning and by Wednesday had secured an opportunity to give a presentation to a group of high school students in a rural village for the following weekend.  Here is her latest email.

 

 

 

Hi, hope you are enjoying the rich life.

First of all, I would like to thank all of your support and interest of the project I am doing and responding my last email. I am sorry that I didn't get back to you right after I came back from home about how the speech went.

The high school in my home town were planning to give us (Me, Jerrie Ueberle, Pok Nanda) two hours to talk to the entire student body on campus as they don't have any meeting room that is big enough to host 3000 students. When we got there, it was raining so that we didn't get to make this happen. But the vice-president finally decided to let us give our speech in their biggest meeting room that host 200 students, which I appreciate a lot. I gave an 1 hour speech and Jerrie and Nanda did one hour. We had a very active interaction with the students. I shared about my experience about how to study English, my college life and my project Illegal Marriages. I asked them to sign my agreement sheet if they agree that there is something wrong with illegal marriages and they would like to continue school or look for other life opportunities instead of getting married. What turned out to be is 179 students out of 200 signed it!!!

It was really a lovely weekend that I finally got to meet my family after the long summer. They are so wonderful, generous and fabulous people that have given me so much that I can't appreciate more. I am proud of being my parents' daughter and fortunately, I worked hard to make my parents proud of me and I did it.

Thanks to Jerrie and Nanda, they helped me to find out some issue that has been around my village but I never thought about. There are trash everywhere in the village. We have no trash can so that everyone throws out trash. We are so used to it. One funny thing is Jerrie picked up some trash on the ground and had it in her hand for a while but finally had to put it back to the ground as there is nowhere to put it. And the place that the trash lies in could be planted beautiful flowers. We have very good soil in the village that you only need to put flower seeds into then it will give you a beautiful garden. Now I really understand why Jerrie keep saying that people are in poverty not because of no money but lack of leadership. We have lots of mosquitoes and diseases because of the trash. If we could put trash cans in the village and train the villagers to separate the trash and plant flower along the road where the trash is. What a difference it would make`!

I thought I was brave enough to put posters in my village. But now I feel shamed of myself. I am never enough to challenge the tradition that girls could talk in public and take the lead to educate my people in my home village to start to change our life to be better. We do need money to do that. But there is something more than just money.

There is long way to go and lots of challenges. Life is full of choices, changes and challenges. I chose to make a change then I have to take all the challenges. I am proud of coming from the village, being abandoned by my parents but adopted by the most wonderful parents in the world , being an advanced member of the World Academy for the Future of Women, and being a Chinese that can go anywhere in the world.

Selia's posters on illegal marriages

Life is about change.

生命需要改变

1, What is Illegal Marriages?

According to the law, the legal marriage age in China for men is 22, for women is 20. Any people who get married before the legal marriage age, their marriages are called illegal marriages which are not protected by law.

1，什么是不合法婚姻？

根据法律规定，中华人民共和国公民合法婚龄男性为22岁，女性为20岁。未到达法定婚龄的人结婚，其婚姻不受法律保护，为不合法婚姻。

2, Why is illegal marriages a problem?

A, The young are not mature enough to get married and not ready to have babies.

B, The education of parents have such a great influence on their children.

C, What great opportunity you will lose if get married so early?

D, How unprotected the women would be when one of the couple especially their husbands betray the marriages?

2，不合法婚姻有哪些危害？

（1）年轻人发育不够成熟，不能很好地抚养自己的孩子。

（2）父母受教育程度对孩子的成长有很大的影响。

（3）过早结婚，年轻人失误了很多追逐自己人生梦想的机会。

（4）在不合法婚姻中，夫妻当中任何一方尤其是章法背叛婚姻，那么女方的权益将收不到任何的法律保护。

This is the school in our village.

这是我们村的学校。

This is Henan Provincial Library. The parents take their children to the reading class every week.

这是河南省图书馆，这些孩子的父母每周都带他们去阅读室。

Why are these such a difference?

为什么会有这么大的差别呢？

The answer must be: Education.

教育可以改变一切。

（1） Our kids' parents were all the illegal marriages suffers. Our kids parents all quit school when they were 12, 13, 14, 15, 16. Our kids' parents could even not read.

我们的孩子的父母都是不合法婚姻的受害者。我们的孩子的父母都在12,13,14,15,16.岁的时候就辍学了。我们的孩子的父母甚至都不识字。

Those kids' parents got married when they got to the legal marriage age. Those kids' parents went to college. Those kids' parents read books to them.

（2） Our kids parents quit school and went to work in a factory.

我们的孩子的父母早早的辍学外出打工。

Those kids' parents were working so hard to pass the college entrance exam.

那些孩子的父母勤奋苦读备战高考。

 (3) Then our kids were born. And their parents will spend their whole life on the farm.

然后他们就回来就婚生子，然后在农村里种一辈子地。

They went to college and live a completely different life.

而他们考上了大学过着另一种截然不同的生活。

（4）Our life will always be the same, end of adventure.

我们的生活将会从此一成不变。

Their life just started...

他们的生活才刚刚开始······

Whose life do you want to live?

你想过哪一种生活？

It is never too late!

一切都还不晚。

Encourage and support every kid to go to school and continue school.

鼓励并支持每个孩子上学并完成学业。

Regard illegal marriages as a social issue instead of a custom.

不合法婚姻是一种严重的社会问题而不是大家习以为常的风俗。

Start changing now and you know what you really want.

从现在起开始改变，你知道你真正想要的是什么生活。

                 World Academy for the Future of Women

                     世界女性未来发展学院

                             2012年6月3日

Selia's letter of appreciation to everyone who is helping her with her project

Selia is working on a project "Illegal Marriages in China", which focused on the consequences of illegal (young) marraiges in China.  She has taken on this project on her own and it has earned her a potetnial internship with a foundation in Irvine, CA in January 29013.  Below is a letter she recently sent to many of us.

Dear friends,
This letter is to show my sincere thanks to all the supporters of my project and keep you informed of where my project is.
Thanks to the generous donation from Robert Ford and Kathy Palokoff, I got to use part of that money to print 20 nine-page big posters to bring back to the villages when I went back home to apply for a passport last weekend.
I spent two of the five hours I got to stay with my family putting these posters. Attached are some photos and the documentary of my poster. It is the wheat harvesting season, like what it shows in photo 1428, every adult is working like a bee on the farm. So I didn't get any tall men to help me. But I did have five cute kids help me (actually they are my nephews and nieces). We put 20 posters not only in my villages but also in 6 other neighbour villages, especially primary schools.
On my train back home, I was sitting with two college students and a man who is in his fifties. I started the topic about illegal marriages. The two college cannot agree more with what I am doing now. When I asked the man who is in his fifties about his opinion, he thinks what I am doing is very meaningful, But later what he said makes me feel there is long way to go with the illegal marriage project.
He said that sometimes they see the harm of the illegal marriages. But when their children quit school, whey they are 17 or 18, they are very eager to have their son or daughter to get married. If not, other neighbour must think there is something wrong with the son or daughter that no one wants to marry her or him. And they think people should get married first and then start a career.
I realise it is so hard to change the way people think, or to change the idea who was in their mind when they were born.
As now teenagers tend to be more independent and their parents cannot force them do anything now, I am thinking to put more focus on the middle school and high school students. If we could get them educated about the harm of illegal marriages, whether they quit school or nor (definitely we want to encourage them to continue school), they could try to avoid illegal marriages consciously.
I am going to ask for more new academy members to join my project next semester to make the team stronger.
Nine finals for me to come through next two weeks, so I will not put any focus on illegal marriages in the next three weeks to get excellent scores.
Thanks again for all of your support.
With lots of appreciation
Selia
Sweet Selia love everyone who has come to my life!
Selia Wang ( Wang Min 王敏)
Email: sweetselia@yahoo.cn

man confirms selia's views.MOV

Millennium Goal Service Projects

All of my students need to complete a service project this spring. Here are some of the abstracts of their projects.

Breakfast Project for Very Poor Children
Millennium Goal: End Poverty and Hunger
Susanna Ma, Valerie Wang

Contributing to an NGO with similar goals to end hunger and poverty(E: Feed the Children) is the focus of our project. Poverty and hunger are a basic and critical problem in China and children, who are the future of the country, are the most at-risk segment of the population.
Breakfast provides most of the nutrition for the day. Hungry children in elementary schools in the poorest area of Henan Province (research will show us where the highest poverty level is in Henan Province) will be beneficiaries of our project.

We will raise money during an evening performance or reception during the Women's Symposium in May. The minimum donation we will ask ￥2.00 per audience member and try to raise a total of 2000 yuan.   After that we will contribute the money to an NGO (ask help from another group to identify the proper NGO) who shares our goals.

This is not a one time effort. We will repeat this effort in September when the start of the school year comes.

In addition, we will ask the NGO to introduce some hi-technology methods to clean the water in the target communities. The NGO can also begin an education   campaign to teach community leaders how to improve the methods to cook in healthier, more efficient and less polluting ways.

Clean Water for Everyone
Millennium Goal(s):  Environmental Sustainability
Wendy, Joy,  Silvina, Mel

Regretfully over half of people still lack a toilet and other forms of health facilities.  And the rural villagers are at the greatest disadvantage to get clean drinking water. Safe and clean drinking water and sanitation are human rights and essential for a full enjoyment of life. This project aims at improving the provision of water and sanitation facilities in poor rural areas in Zhengzhou, China. We plan to implement our clean water campaign during the month of May, 2012.

To start, we will divide our team members into three committees:

(1) Marketing- to find sponsors, NGO’s, private sector, and other organizations that can raise money for this important cause.
(2) Public relations- to give speeches to ensure that the issue of sanitation gets the attention it deserves and to solicit the help of other college students.
(3) Organization- to solicit   government agencies  to construct infrastructure, such as water filter facilities, waste water recycling, collection of municipal solid waste, more toilets and so on.
Additionally, we will develop an on-line platform to share data on water and sanitation provision and consumer satisfaction in Zhengzhou.

To meet this huge goal, we will solicit the help of many people (students, administration, citizens, government leaders, etc.). We will not be satisfied until more than half of people in rural villages have clean water and functioning sanitation systems.  Yes We Can!!! Yes We Will!!!

Connecting with Middle School Dropouts
Millennium Goal(s):  Universal Education
Emily (Chairperson), Fullmoon，Vita，Sunny，Joanna，Ryen (Team players）

Basic education for all children is very important. If children are not educated, the entire country suffers.  We need to educate children to make our country stronger and stronger. If we do not educate children, they will lose opportunities to grow and enrich their lives. If the children are not educated, they cannot find meaningful work and have little to no quality of life.  Education can change one’s entire life.  We believe that everyone should have the chance to go to school.

For our project we want to find a middle school in a poor area.  Through the help of the school administration, we will find students who have dropped out as early as middle school age. We will persuade these children to go back to school.  We will let their parents know the importance of an education. Then we will collect information to determine why they dropped out of school. Maybe we can offer some solutions to change their decisions. And after we have established a relationship with these students, we will leave our academy’s public connections such as our Email address our office address and our telephone number so we can give them support when they meet difficulties. We will also give them advice about their lessons during their study.

We want to take the first step to make sure every child, in every village, has the same chance as the children who live in rich areas to receive education. We will not be satisfied until parents realize and support the significance of education. We believe that we can reconnect children to schools so that they receive education. We do our utmost to achieve this important goal.
 
ENCOURAGE EVERYONE DO THE BASIC ENVIRONMENTAL PROTECTION
Millennium Goal(s): Environmental Sustainability
Leader: Sarah, Note taker: Kelly Zhang, Kelly Zhu, Members: Julia, Honey

We think that environmental sustainability should be everyone’s responsibility. Then, and only then, it will make an obvious difference, so we will appeal to all college students, faculty and staff to protect the environment in SIAS campus.

First, they should notice how serious the problem of pollution is on our campus. So we will take photos about the litter pollution, plastics pollution, and the plants that have been broken by us, the waste of papers, electricity and water. Then we will make a speech on our campus during the Women’s Forum (May 19 and 20, 2012). We will also create a PowerPoint presentation, using the photos.  We will also write articles about the reality of our environment.  Words are powerful. These articles will be distributed to our school newspaper, the radio station and other campus media. Through this action, it is our hope, people will pay more attention to the environmental protection, and we can lead them to do small things, like save water, put litter in its proper place .Second, we will solicit help from other school organization, then we can organize our schoolmates better to protect our environment. There is an environmental protection academy on our campus. We will contact with them and get help from them. In addition to giving us advice, we plan to ask them give us 50 rubbish cans which we will distribute all over the campus. We will consider this project a success if we can give all students a deeper impression of the urgent need to protect the environmental. And then protecting environment becomes their habits.

We think that the first step can help the students to be determined to protect the environment; the second step can help us solve the difficulties we may meet together. Both two steps will help students to do basic environmental protection, and then we will get a better environment to live in.

Future  Stars
Millennium Goal(s): Ending Poverty and Hunger
Chairperson: Amber, Team: Jude, Alice gao, Alice Li. Gabriela, Candice, Jodie, Ada

We support the UN Millennium goal of eradicating poverty and hunger. This goal is meaningful for us because many of us come from a village and have lived a poor life.  In the past, we were eager to improve the conditions of our own family.  But as time goes on, we discovered that there are so many people like us leading such a life. But we are blessed because we are receiving a university education. So we would like to help others receive a better education. Our group will go to a rural middle school in Xin Zheng as volunteers. We plan to tutor students and to provide them with some information on how to improve them. We will emphasis that the best way to decrease poverty is through education.  Eventually, this will lead them to a bright future.

We realize that we will need more than just our group to implement this goal.  So we plan to influence other students. We hope to get ten more students to join our efforts. The more students who join us, the more we will achieve.

And finally, we will collect clothing, school supplies and books which we will donate to these children.  We hope to give every child a book.

We believe we can achieve our goal!  Yes we can, yes we will!

Gender Equity on SIAS Campus

Women in all countries of the world are discriminated solely because of their gender. In China, it is particularly difficult for women because many parents want to have a boy instead of a girl. As an adult, women often receive unfair treatment when they are working, their wages are often less, and hiring opportunities are not the same.

Because gender inequalities are so rampant around the world, we wonder if Sias University is any different from the rest of the world.  We would like to investigate how fair gender equality on our campus is.  To start, we will interview the SIAS human resource office about SIAS faculty members.  Included in our investigation will be questions about the gender ratio of professors, administrators and staff. We will review any policies on gender equity in hiring practices, pay and treatment. We will investigate any differences in pay.

Once we have all of this information, we will find one issue that could make an immediate, positive impact for women.  We will visit with Mr. Chen, president of the university, to ask his support to make this change.  It would be our goal to announce this change at the Women Symposium on May 19 and 20, 2012.

Additionally, we recognize that we have to change the attitudes of the students. So we will also research facts about gender unequal around the world such women's social status, unfair treatment, family, Violence, sexual abuse, opportunity to be educated.

We will make a video, letting others know gender equality is necessary. We will show the video in Kennedy Hall.  Additionally, we will seek some women who live in a society with a more gender equality and we will ask them to make a speech about their lives and experiences after the video.
Our goal: to raise everyone’s awareness that women must have the same opportunities as men.

Illegal Marriages
Millennium Goals: Gender Equality; Eradicating Poverty
Team: Selia

I grew up in a rural village where people are kind, hospitable and honest. I have been very lucky to become the only girl in my big family to enter college, which makes my family suffer much financial burden. But my family and I believe it is worth it. Education is the only way to get out of poverty. But for others who didn’t go to college, they live a different life. My sister is working at a factory far away from her children. My brother quit school at the fourth grade and got married at 19. Now he has to work at a construction site to support his family. This hard job makes him look older than his age. My best friend got married at the age of 18 and his wife was 17. Life should have been going well for her, but it is always full of surprises. My friend started dating another woman and wanted to divorce his 19-year-old wife.  So what would you do if you were the wife ？Seek legal help to protect yourself? No, there isn’t any legal protection for her. The legal marriage age in China for men is 22, for women are 20. My friend, my sister and my brother were all married without a marriage certificate. Their marriages are not protected by law. Because of this law, my friend, who is now 20 can leave his wife and marry another woman? But what about this kind woman and her young son? We could say it is unfair for the woman, but it is just what it is. And she is just one of many women in the village who has suffered this kind of heartbreaking pain. All my life, I have witnessed the pain that women who are my age have suffered. It is time to make a difference.

As global leaders, what could we do to help the women who are often the victims of illegal marriages? Part of the reason that young people in the village get married so early is that they quit school very early. They have nothing to do but get married. It has become a custom in the village, Parents and their daughters need to be educated on how harmful it would to get married too early. As educated people, we need to help people understand the importance of education. I can and I will, but I need your help!

One World, One Dream
Millennium Goal(s): Global Partnership
Cindy, June, Selina, Jurny

Our project will focus on developing global partnerships to address the needs of the global economy, technology, medicine, and environment in developing countries.  We plan to build a website named One World, One Dream. We will research information about the poor countries all over the world and post this information on our site.  Additionally we will make a global appeal to people, around the world, to join our site. We will send our website address and goals to famous people’s blog in hopes that they will tell others about our site. We will let them know about our site. We will invite them to be our spokesman.  We hope over 100 people will visit our website each month.   We will also ask our foreign teachers to help us contact to communities about the globe.  We will also make connections to the others on UCP-Sarnet. We will send letters to the embassies around the world. It is our hope that they can give us some help to find solutions to the Millennium goals.  Finally we will organize a club with Chinese students and the foreign students around the world. We are the future of the world.  If we all could realize the importance of global partnerships; we could change the world.

Sunshine  Angels
Millennium Goal(s):  Child health
Leader: Gloria, Note taker: Carina, Members: Melissa, Helen, Jane

We all love children, they are lovely and innocent. We like to see happy and pretty expressions on their faces. Everyone has a desire to protect beautiful things; children are delicate and beautiful, they deserve a healthy and wonderful life, so we need to do something for them.

There are children in special schools in our local area. Even though they are being educated, because of their disability, they live in isolation. However, they are just like us. They need to love and be loved. For our project, we will develop a series of preplanned activities. Specially, we will conduct activities after school that will provide these special students with comradeship, fellowship, friendship and personal success. First, we will call the headmaster to determine a date, the number of students, duration of time, and any expectation that the school administration will have for us. Once we have all the information, we will plan activities within the ability of the students. In addressing children’s health, we will pay attention on the students’ emotional health.  When we finish it, we hope to leave these lovely students stronger, more confidence, and with a better sense of belonging to society.

This project will be implemented at weekends during May 2012.

Sunshine Travel
Millennium Goal(s): Universal Education
Cherr , Rachel , Karin

Children are the future of our country. So they must to be educated. However, in many villages, there are still some parents who do not realize the importance of education. There are so many village children who stay at home with their grandparents while their parents go out to earn money. And the children do not seem eager for knowledge. And it seems as if too many parents do not care about their children’s education.  Too many parents just don’t know the power of knowledge.  They can’t imagine what life would be like if their children just received an education. This is unfair to the children.  So we have to do our part to help parents and children realize the importance of education.

For this phenomenon, we have decided to go to the village near our campus during the summer holiday. We will go to the village children’s home, talk with the children and their parents. First, we should ask their opinions about education, then, we will tell their parents about the educational opportunities we gain from going to college. For the children, we will tell them the interesting things about college life and how colorful their life will be after they possess knowledge. We think that through our action, children will become eager for knowledge and their parents will also favor their children to learn more knowledge. Through our efforts, we plan to help parents enroll their children in to schools for the 2012-2013 school year. We deeply believe that, through all of us work hard; the world will become more beautiful for these children and their children as well.

The Healthy Baby Project: Healthy Mothers have Healthy Babies
Millennium Goal: Improving maternal health; Improving childhood health
Leader:  Teresa, Team members: Mathilda, Teresa, Amelia

Our project will serve the maternal health needs of women in a local rural village.  We plan to implement our project at the end of May 2012. Too many women become pregnant and do not receive adequate health care.  The consequence can be devastating to the mother and can cause long term health problems for the children.

To start our project, we will first visit a village and survey the women to determine their needs and options.  Once we have that information, we will compile it into a readable summary and sent this summary to a variety of medical health providers.  We will interview several health providers to give us some suggestions on how the women’s needs can be met.  We will then return to the village and provide these women with some potential solutions to their maternal health concerns.
Our actions will include:  We will develop a survey.  We will conduct a survey.  We will write a summary of our findings.  We will send our findings to professional in the medical field.  We will interview and review our findings with a doctor and a mid-wife.  We will return to the village and share our new information with the village women.

Our goal is help more women deliver health, beautiful babies.

Water the flowers of the Futur.
Millennium Goal(s) : Universal  Education
LEADER:  Nadia, Members:  Linda Zhang, Vivi Liu, Melisa Wang , Jenny , Angella, Linda Wang.

Education is always developing.  Education is wealth.  Education creates civilizations and culture.  For these reasons, everyone should receive an education.  Everyone has rights to learn.  But our rural areas do not always offer the appropriate conditions to learn. As college students, we should help others who don’t have the proper opportunity to study.

Our group supports universal education. To address this goal, we will make a connection with an elementary school in a rural area. We will tutor these children as a means to support what they are now learning in their schools.  We plan to tutor them in English, Math and Chinese.  We will also design activities to draw their interests to learn.  And we will provide some reading materials to their school’s library.

To support and continue our efforts, we want to motivate others to take action. We want other college students to realize that not everyone has the same opportunity to go to school.  We plan to attract college students to be volunteers to teach children.  We also want to solicit donations to buy resources for the school. Additionally, we will write letters to the local government, asking them to take measures or allocate funds to help these children. Finally, we will arrange a visit to SIAS University for these children with the hopes of stimulating their interest in learning and knowledge in their inner heart.

Leadership, Communism and Girl Power

I am in the midst of some girl conflict, something I thought I left behind when I left the principalship.  But I guess this is all part of life, no matter where I go in the world.  Anyway, April 12 is the opening of sports week.  I think there will be lots of athletic competitions and I have been asked to join the faculty hula hoop team and I AM NOT GOING TO DO THAT.

The student manager for my program came to see me last week with what she said was great news: For the first time, the World Academy for the Future of Women has been asked to be in the opening parade and I think we might be first in line which will be a great honor.  We need to have at least 50 participants and everyone must wear the same uniform.  I told my student leader that we would participate but she had to organize everything since she knew what to expect.  So off she went to organize the first planning meeting.

She came back and told me that we were all set.  We had the 50 participants.  But I later heard some rumblings.  Even though we have 100 women in the academy, only 32 want to participate. So 18 students are being forced to participant.  As it was told to them, it is their duty and honor to participate.  Then there was a discussion on what to wear.  It was decided by a few that they would wear black skirts, a white blouse, white athletic shoes and everyone would buy a vest for 20 RMB (about $3.15 or three meals).  Then those who were not involved with the parade were told that they would also have to buy the vest and come to all of the practices as well because it would only be fair to those who do not want to participate.  Everyone had to suffer. This caused an uproar and I started to hear about it.

So I spoke to my student leader and asked for her side of the story. “It is China’s way,” she tells me, matter of factly.  “We do things for the duty of our academy and the university.  We have been honored and we have to accept.”  When I suggested that we only include those students who were interested, she said, “No, we need more member and we have to force them to do this.  That is our way.”

I knew she had another meeting with her classmates in an hour. So I tried to coach her on the art of persuasion and I thought we were on the same page so I sent her off with some suggestions on how she could quell the rumbles. She liked my ideas, thanked me and went off with new optimism.
Then I got an email form a disgruntled student.  My student leader sent out a text message that everyone had to come to the next practice and anyone who missed the practice would be immediately expelled from the academy.

I decided to go to the practice to intervene.  When I got there, it was announced that my student leader was not going to be attending the meeting because she had made dinner plans with one of the foreign teachers.  I couldn’t believe it.  But that did not seem to bother the others. They didn’t seem to think this was a double standard. So I spoke to the students and told them that no one had to be in the parade.  They had a choice.  And if we didn’t have the required 50 participants, we would have to reject the honor to participate.  And if we did not march, we were not to bully those who did not want to participate.  I told the students that they were to notify me by midnight to let me know that they were not going to be involved.  The choice was theirs.  One student said she was not going to participate.  One student said she is not going to wear the skirt because when she bends over, you can see her underpants and that embarrassed her.  With the exception of one student, the other disgruntled students did not contact me.

Below is an email I got from one of the disgruntled students:

“Bridget, today you've set a great example of leadership for us. I'm always thinking about what you have said and done. You gave us a platform to speak out our opinions and you also encouraged us to earn our honor of the whole team and fight for our team glory. As I've told you, I'm really worried about TEM 4. That's the first important exam for English major. And I want to get a good performance. However, after hearing what you said, I felt ashamed if we could not participate in the parade for the lack of me. So I decide to take part in the parade if I'm needed to make up of 48.  In that case, I will buy a vest. I have to say it again that I want to be a person like you, patient, encouraging, influential, respectful and respectable”.

I wrote back to the student and told her that I wanted to be more like her.  Then I offered to buy her vest because I just know who poor she is.  Here is her response:

“No, Bridget. Thank you so much, but please do not do that! You came to China to teach us leadership and management abilities, which mean a lot to me, especially  in my process of growth. I am grateful and appreciate all you have done. And I don't like to cost you more. Being a friend with you is a treasure. Learning from you is enough. Plus, I did not concern so much about the money but the way of human reaction and behavior. I realized people are easily constrained by their positions. When we are common people, we tend to surrender to the authorities, even serving them like servants. We lose our own voices and minds, though sometimes we are given opportunities to speak. Once we are in the position of decision, we'll become the ones who we were used to hate yet envy. It is a severe phenomenon in China. I, too, feel restricted by unknown things, maybe customs, or the way I was raised. But I'm trying to fly freely. And you are my role model.”

Certainly, this student is very complementary to me. But that is not why I am writing this story.  I just continue to be amazed at the general acceptance of authority.  In all aspects of their lives, they sit back and wait to be told.  They are told want to do and they do what they are told.  Now, we, Americans, are slipping in to their lives and talking to them about giving voice to women and just when I think they understand what we are trying to accomplish, I see that we aren’t even close to our goal.  When I spoke to my student leader again the next day, she told me she just doesn’t know any other way to get people to do things if you don’t force them, bully them and threaten them.  “It’s China’s way” is a response I heard from her and from so many other students on numerous occasions. She spoke with sincerity and a genuine interest in the academy, but this is the only leadership style she knows.

Why is gender equality so important?

 These are written responses from my students.  They were competing to become part of a new Model United Nations Program.  There were only 20 openings and 50 students wanted to be part of the program.  They had to answer a series of four questions on current world issues.  Here are several takes on gender equality.

First, from the bible, we know everyone was born equal. So everyone is equal. Women and men are both important. Second, only when we really know the importance of gender equality can we trust men and women equally. Only when woman is treated equally with men can she feels happy and just.  Third, our world consists of men and women.  They are both important. We shouldn’t distinguish any kind of people.  In a word, gender equality can make great contributions to our world’s development.
==

Women are part of this world. They are important roles in this world.  Many works which men can’t do, they can do it perfect. Everyone is born equally, woman had the right to be treated a well as man. In some places, women’s right are getting more attention, there rights are ignored.  They have not rights to decide things but ordered to do this or that, sometimes, they are bitted (beaten?) by their husband,
==

As we know, women and men play some important role in the world, women have special thinking style and special ability to make our family, even make our country stronger. No matter in the workplace or in the family or anywhere else, women are playing more and more key roles in the world.  In a word, we should believe in women and respect them, then we can have much warm family and more comfortable workplace.  Now that we respect our mothers and love them, why not make them more happy and freedom in their career and in their family.
==

Women are as brilliant as men.  We play an essential role in our society. Burin historical terms, women seem to be lower than men. It is often that we did and paid more but less return even the respect.  So in order to build a peaceful life, we have to propose gender equality.  Then we can make full use of our talent as women and men. On in this way we can create a biggest, wealth, not only in money (economy) but also in moral.
==
Because boy and girl are the same. In the 21st century, knowledge is of great importance to everyone. Women can also so many useful and magnificent things and work like men.
==
Surprise! My project is gender equality. Because in today’s world, women can do what men can do.  Women are more patient, loving, warm-heart than men.  But in most countries of the world, women have very low social status, and unfair in paid.  In china, people always want a boy instead of a girl.  Some women, they are smart and brilliant but they don’t have opportunities to shoe their talent of politics.
==
Along the development of the society, this very clear that what man should do and what woman should do, but it’s not mean man and d woman are equal. For example, in some jobs, women are work the same job work as men but they don’t have the same salary.  It’s very easy lead to the low productive for women. It’s very important to women have their rights or freedom then they can be much harmony with men and society.
==
It is so important question for girls in college.  Because girls have the same dream with boys.  If the boss is not equal to girls, he will not give the high position to us.  It’s a bad effect for women in the future, if the problem is still here. Women can’t have confidence in their job.
Because we are created equally. Women have the rights to do things just like the man. In realistic, there is gender discrimination. Some works that women are forbidden to doing.  Some positions that women can’t get because gender discrimination. We need gender equality. We need balance between man and women. Women are important as men so gender equality is so important. Peace! Peace! We need peace!
==
Boys and girls are from different world.  They have their own special genius to do.  If gender equality are not set up, girl’s place would be down and their genius would be pressed so the cant do their special thing.

More and more random thoughts:

1. I played a John Hyatt song for my students and one of them said to me, “Oh, you like crazy music?”
2. Emily told me that she doesn’t want to have a baby boy.  When she gets pregnant, she wants a baby girl.
3. When I stayed in Beijing, I paid $20/night for a hotel and I thought that was a great deal.  Then the next time I stayed in a hotel, with another person, we paid $10/night each.  Then I stayed in another hotel with two other people and we paid $7.50 each.  Last night I stayed in a hotel and it cost us about $4.50 each.  I think I have reached the bottom of what I will pay and tolerate in hotel accommodations.
4. According to ta story I read in China Daily (March 30, 2012), the average price for a license plate for a car this year is 58,000 Yuan (about $8500), almost half the price of a new car.
5. I also read that the birth sex ratio is 117 males for every 100 females.
6. I spent the day with medical students today and they complete their medical training through a five year college program.
7. I visited a section in Zhengzhou where there are 10 universities in one area and about 200,000 are enrolled in these schools.
8. All of these students have access to hot water between 6PM and 8PM only.  They wait in line with their big two liter thermos and fill their thermos and lug them up to their dorm rooms.  That is their hot water supply until the next day.
9. For some reason, the women get their men to carry their purses.
10. Most people in China are atheist.  And I have never heard so much discussion about integrity, honesty and goodwill as I have from the Chinese people that I have met.  They are very principled and it is very important to them to be honorable.
11. There is a law that does not allow the dead to be buried.  They have to be cremated because farm land has become too valuable so no land can be wasted.
12. My students think the Dali Lhama is a despicable person who is manipulating the world into believing that he is a man of peace, when in fact, he is a made of war and is trying to engage China in war.
13. We just finished two days of sports competitions.  All classes were cancelled and we had an opening ceremony, similar to the Olympics.  The school band first played the Chinese national anthem and then they played the USA anthem for the foreign teachers.  My students wanted to know why we cheered at the end.
14. The school’s cheerleading squad has 200 members but they never cheer at any events.  They did perform for the opening ceremonies and they took up the entire field.
15. One of my students told me that she learned in her history class that Gorbachev is in exile in the US because of his role in bringing down Communism in the USSR.  He is portrayed by the Chinese government as cowardly and an enemy of China and communism.

Kinship

This story was left on the table in my office.  It was written by one of my students, but I don’t know which one.  And her mother is probably around 40 to 60 years old.

Last time I told you a love story, I wants to tell you about the story of friendship and a family story next semester.  But it looks at as if to be long time.  So I can’t wait.

Today I am going to tell you what the deepest reflection I got last winter break.  One day I mother told me with a usual tone, “My face is so dry.”  I just was interested in the program on TV about being beautiful and I didn’t turn my head to my mother, carelessly listening to the worlds.  But when I saw her, the person who had been with me for 21 years old was very unfamiliar.  I didn’t know when the wrinkles climbed her face.  I didn’t know when there was some exposed white hair and I didn’t know when she had her humpback because of heavy load.  I didn’t know…

Didn’t want my mother to take notice of my change.  I just said in soft and low voice, “oh, just use some skin care product is OK.”

I had no spirit to continue to watch TV.  As I turning it off, I was lost into thought.  Regret and self-accusation full of my heart.  My mother sacrifice her whole life for my body and mind and I didn’t care her very much.  I was thinking why I didn’t do anything for her?  I had never read books about elderly people health care.  I had never realized (unrecognizable word) was so important for a woman? What makes me by my mother loves me and ignore her change?

Nothing can replace a mother’s love and care. I love my mother and my father!

What have been your successes? What makes you proud? (PART II)

Helen
To be honest, I think everything that I do is not successful.  I think I always have no patience and courage. So I couldn’t speak out my experience.

1. Join in the WAFW (World Academy for the Future of Women)
2. Studying at Sias
3. I have a kind mother.
4. I have a harmonizational family.
5. I choose my nursing major.
6. I have so many friends.
7. Now I’m still single.
8. I’m still kind although the society is complex.
9. I have a hot heart to everything.
10. I have a good temper.

Kathy 
I can make a good communication with my mother, especially when she is unhappy or quarreled with my father.  She often talk with me and I can make her happy finally.

1. I usually do things very carefully and persistently.
2. I’m an optimistic girl, so the hummer (humor) characters can give the laugh and happiness to every friend around me.
3. I like senior school.

Anonymous

1. Entering the college and making many new friends.
2. Joining the world academy for the future of women.
3. Choosing my favorite major.
4. Earning money to support my boarding –lodging expenses.
5. I go the first place and my teacher spoke highly of me.
6. I earned money to buy an electronic dictionary by myself.
7. Buying a scarf for my grandmother.
8. Helping my neighbor to clean his room and to take care of his children.
9. As a study comrade when I was in high school.

Jurny

1. I entered the Sias University last year.
2. I helped my friend get off her sadness because of her mother’s death.
3. I bought cloth for my parents with the money I earned by myself.
4. I passed the final exam.
5. I worked in a company during the last summer holiday.
6. I helped the children in my countryside to study English.
7. I’m now a people to help my parents solve some difficult things.
8. I help my classmates study math.

Sarah

1. I am a college student and get high education.
2. I earned scholarship in high school.
3. I was number one in my classroom in high school.
4. I made a lot of friends during my school life.
5. I learnt how to refuse to other’s request.

My note: I had the students stand up and tell us the one thing that made them most proud.  Sarah got up and talked about how her friends were often coming to her and asking her to do their work for them because she was so smart.  Sometimes she would comply but she never felt good about it. But she now has the courage to refuse their requests.  She said she needed to be moral and not help people cheat.

Mellissa

1. I think my perseverance, my patient and my efforts, of course, with the help of my teacher and my parents who give me so many supports.
2. I have good characters, such as honest, intergrate, kind and happy.  I think this makes me very proud.
3. When I was 12, I learned English first.
4. My composition was good and won the attention of teacher when I was 14.
5. Learn to ride a bike.
6. I can teach middle school students with their lessons when I was in holiday.
7. I also got a business secrety certification.
8. I also got a part-time job in my holidays.
9. I can cut a good hair style for my grandmother.
10. I can make some dumplings well.
11. I can cook some good dishes.
12. I can challenge myself to my English test.

Cindy

1. I have taken the first place in my class.
2. I took part in the academy for the future of women.
3. I performed well in the interview and got improved form the part-time job.
4. I believe every day is another day and I stick to my plan every day.
5. I encouraged myself to dance even if I was not good at it.
6. I tried to learn Korean hard because I was to go there in the future.
7. I always try my best to help those who need help.
8. I have been a member of chorus because I love singing.
9. I have been awarded in an English test.
10. I have a family full of happiness.
11. Although I have many weaknesses, I have many things that I can be proud of.  For example, I have several close friends.  I am proud of my mother. She loves me very much and she treats me just like a friend. 
12. I am proud of being needed by others.

What are your successes?

I asked the students to list ten things that were proud moments in their life.  This was a struggle for them since they are not taught to brag or stand out in the crowd because of their accomplishments.  I had to list ten things that I was proud of before I could get them to write anything.  Each list is one student’s entire list.

Once everyone completed their list, I ask all of them to tell the class the one accomplishment that they were most proud.  Leanne went first and said she couldn’t decide which one was her top accomplishment.  So I told her just to pick one.  She told the class she was very proud of her swimming ability.

Leanne’s response:

1. I won’t hold low self-esteem. Farewell to my low self-esteem.
2. I could be natural and modest enough to make friends
3. Learning swimming myself
4. Finding a part time job and do it well
5. Knowing what I am going to do.  I have dream which will definably be realized soon- simultaneous interpreter.
6. Visiting Shong Shan temple myself (it’s all about transferring buses and I have no sense of direction)
7. I have three confidents.  We never call each other friend.
8. I like reading.  I do proud of being like reading.
9. I care my family.
10. I live a simple and environmentally friendly life.  I am not a spend thrift (material girl).
11. I am concerned about people’s ability, not appearances.

Emily’s response: 

1. I proud of being a member of the World Academy for the Future of Women.
2. I proud of Jerrie let me work as a mentor for the UCPSARNET this semester. (My note- Emily was hired for $500 for three months to monitor all of my students’ work on social network group that focuses on social action to end poverty and the other UN Millennium goals.  This salary is beyond what Emily ever thought she could earn and she works about 20 hours or more a week for me. That works out to about $1/hour which is double what other students earn who work on campus)
3. I proud I have done a project as a leader to teach children education. I found a summer training class to teach children math and English and I succeed.
4. I proud of working in the world academy office to be a leader.
5. I proud of being a college student in Sias and I learn a lot in our campus.
6. I pound that I passed the CET-4 and CET-6 once a time when I was a sophomore. (my note- these are English language exams and the focus of everyone’s measurement of success)
7. I proud I live in a beautiful city, Ji Juan which has a lot of beautiful scenery.
8. I proud that Bridget say, “Emily, you’re great, you can solve this problem”.
9. I proud of my parents.  They work hard and earn a lot money to grow my sister, brother and i.
10. I proud I can recognize some foreign faculty, especially, Jerrie, Bridget, Ginger, Joyce.  They teach me a lot and I learn a lot form them.

Jude’s response: 

1. Cook (fish, chicken, green vegetable and so on).
2. Independent thought and life (middle school, high school, university life, I always alone).
3. Be glad to help others.
4. Respect people.
5. Wash my papa’s feet
6. To be a good student.
7. To be a volunteer in Sias.
8. Visit homeless people and help them.
9. Be a good daughter.
10. Always attempt to forget bad things and be happy.

ViVi’s response: 

What’s my proud of?  I’m proud of my parents.  They sacrifice their whole life for my four siblings and I.  They teached me how to be loving and beloved.  I’m also proud of my friends.  They encourage me when I' m in trouble and share happiness when one of us who succeed.  Surely, I pride of myself.  I have a strong will and insist on it.  Furthermore, I won good morals and know /insist/ the importance of being my personal best.

1. my parents love me.
2. They teach me amounts of knowledge about being a person of study
3. Selfless (my parents)
4. There are many friends staying with me
5. We share happiness and sadness together (my friends).
6. They are in good health (my parents and friends).
7. Good morals, kind, honest, friendly (me).
8. Positive attitude to life (me).
9. Independence (me).
10. Own my dreams.

Amber’s response: 

First, I think my success is that I have been a college student which makes my family proud of myself but also give me so much confidence to face difficulty life.  Second, I am proud of my personality.  I am kind, honest and enthusiasm.

1. I am proud of my positive attitude to life.  I can adjust my emotions appropriately.
2. I am proud of my diligent attitude to be a good student.
3. I am proud of having some confidents who always appear when I need them.
4.  I am proud of my courage and confidence to life.
5. I am proud of my special experiences, which make me earn some money and I can reduce the burden of my family.
6. I am proud of being a member of world academy for the future of women.  I lean a lot from our professors except that I make some good friends.
7. I am proud of being a member of the communist party in China, because that was voted by my classmates, of course, I am touched by their trust and support.
8. I am proud of everything that life gives me. 

Fullmoon’s response:

My success is that I have set up a club, got along with my partners, my friends, family and my teacher.  We have the same goals to make the club better and better.  So we have held a part named “Guitar Party.”  After that, our SKT Guitar Club was more and more popular.

There are the things:

1. I have a regulation work and rest.
2. I have a harmonious family.
3. I know what I want to do and what I can do.
4. I have made a short plan every week.
5. I have made three best friends.
6. I have talked with many different people and to feel about their lives’ environment.
7. I have set up a guitar club at SIAS.
8. I have improved myself when I was a freshman.
9. I can face my mistakes now.
10. I have been to orphanage many times and made friends with many orphans.

June’s response:

 

When I was a sophomore, I became the vice president of the speech club.  And I taught many students how to speech.  Like what can you make yourself don’t be afraid, how to be brave, how to make your speech amazing.  Maybe I couldn’t know everything about speech, but I can tell them my experience.  Then make them to speech well.  Though I met many friends.  We always play together and talk about many things and I can learn many things from them.

1. I am an auditor.
2. I have a happiness family.
3. I have many friends.  They all very nice.
4. I become a college student
5. I am a member of the world academy.
6. I was a vice president of the speech club.
7. I was a member of chorus club.
8. I have a chance to study violin.
9. I know many foreign teachers.
10. I like music.
11. I try my best to do everything and some of my dreams come true.